I wish I could take credit for this, but it was sent to me in an Email.
Pretty interesting view...

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.

They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement..

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.


Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish

but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard

liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most are social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers, in Hollywood, and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud, Coors, or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers

and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans

are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals

remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America .. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a

business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to

angrily respond to the above.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute

truth of this history.

I really don't think I could have told it better myself.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Operation Shield

Just across the Harry Nice Bridge from where I live, in Laplata Maryland, a soldier came home to rest.

The Westboro Church had decided that they were coming to take away the honor from this man that he deserved.

What had started out as friends and family on facebook pages, and grew into the event that you see into this clip above.

Not politicians, not union organisers, just regular people that took a stand and said no.

Terrorist Implant

I received this and had to share.....


MICRO CHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD

THE PATRIOTIC MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists.

The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.

When properly installed, it will allow the one implanted, to speak to God.


It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection. No anesthetic is required.


The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches and nausea, aches, and pains are extremely temporary.

Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, you won't even notice it.

I don't know who comes up with these, but you got to love it

For The Rednecks

You know, people like us never really got much attention until the suit and tie folks had to find a reason as why the President was losing all his friends

"Well gosh Delbert, what the heck is she sayin ? What Fire ? "
I mean, come on, how much longer do we sit back and allow the stereotype to go on ?
I got this the other day, and it make you think about who the real Americans are

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to
be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing
the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas'
instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when
someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your
hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces
veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe
and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and
raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to
a friend.

Lets add to this, shall we ?

You might be a redneck if : In spite of the names you were called, or the derogatory way you were treated, you still tell your abuser to stand behind you so that you can defend them.

I just wonder if those with the loudest voice will be the first to stand and fight when the time comes ?
What do you think ?
Yeah, I thought that too, but it's bow season around here, so we have to go knock down some Bambi's and rip out the innards, then pull the hides off, then butcher them up.
Hey, out here in the country we live in the real world.
The rest of you go have fun at the Food Lion or Giant.

Spreadin The Wealth

This is what I call spreadin it !

Only the Bubba's will understand why this is funny

Rules For Kickin Ass

I got this in an Email the other day and had to share.
This is one of the best I have seen in a good long while

Rules for Kickin Ass


Rules for the Non-Military
Make sure you read # 12


Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.


For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.


2.. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.


3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces', collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an "Air Force" member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).


6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard "non-military", inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me - stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!


9. "Flyboy" (Air Force), "Jarhead" (Marines), "Grunt" (Army), "Squid" (Navy), "Puddle Jumpers" (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.


10. Whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked.

11 . It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.


It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.


It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.


It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.


AND ONE MORE:


12 . If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.


You got to love it.
But just think back, can you think of anyone that does not have the heart to stand up for the Flag ?
Can you think of one person that refuses to salute, or even put their hand over their heart and show respect for their Flag and their Country ?


Who do you know that needs an ass kickin ?

Just Being Honest

POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD


An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine
Traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him.
The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at
Close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.
A state wide manhunt ensued.


The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun..
After he shot at them, SWAT team officers open fired and hit the guy 68 times.


Now here's the kicker.


Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they shot the
Poor undocumented immigrant (illegal alien) 68 times.


Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel:
(Talk about an all-time classic answer.)


'Because that's all the ammunition we had.'

Got this in an Email and had to share.

I am sure it will offend, but what the hell, someone will say something aginst it.